Doubt Should Be Temporary

Doubting yourself is normal. Letting it stop you is a choice.

I wake up some days and think, “Can I really build this organization? Can I really do what’s in my heart to do, create leaders, and make an impact?” I don’t let that stop me. I still drive in, walk into the office, connect with the people there, and get to work. Some days that’s hard.

I’ve lain in bed for an extra 15 minutes talking myself into getting up, a few hours after sending the whole team a late-night message about how big a week we were going to have. That’s real. Doubt shows up for everyone. The goal isn’t to never feel it. The goal is to keep it temporary.

Preparation is the enemy of doubt

I’m not a natural preparer. I’d rather come in off the cuff. Preparation feels like work to me, and everything else feels like fun.

But I’ve noticed that when I don’t prepare, I’m more scared and more doubtful, because I know I’m not ready. So the most practical advice I have is simple: if you want to doubt less, prepare more.

Surviving failure kills doubt

The other thing that kills doubt is failure. Not failing exactly, but surviving it.

People doubt because they’re scared they won’t win. If they understood that losing isn’t the end, that it doesn’t kill you, they’d try more often. Losing doesn’t get easier. Winning does. The more you lose, the more you learn what not to do, and the easier the next win becomes.

I’m also lucky. My mom told me my whole life that I could do anything, and at some point I believed her. Eventually I stopped treating doubt as a reason not to try. I’d just go try anyway.

Confidence is selling to yourself

Early on we learned that “no” isn’t a great answer when you’re selling. When a client asks, “Can you deliver this level of quality?” the answer is yes. “Yes, but” is even better: yes, but it will cost more. Yes, but it will take more of your resources. Yes, but you’ll have to give up this other thing you wanted, because the two goals don’t fit together.

I eventually realized that confidence is a matter of selling things to yourself. When I’m doubting, the honest answer to “Can I do this?” is usually “Yes, but.” Yes, but it may take more than I think. Yes, but I might fall on my face. And if I do, the fallout won’t kill me, and it won’t be permanent.

Growth makes the cereal aisle bigger

My co-host Daniel described his version of doubt perfectly. Put him in a grocery store to pick out cereal and he’ll stand in the aisle comparing every box, frozen by the choice. He pointed out that business works the same way. The more you grow, the more responsibility you carry, the more weight each decision has, and the more boxes there are on the shelf.

He’s right, and it explains why doubt doesn’t go away with success. It often gets louder. A founder with ten employees has more to lose on a bad call than a founder working alone. So the answer can’t be “wait until you’re confident.” The answer has to be a process you trust: prepare, size up the real cost, check whether the decision is reversible, and then move.

Doubt is information. It tells you something matters. It just isn’t a vote, and it doesn’t get to make the decision for you.

Most decisions can be reversed

Lee Cockrell, in his book about his years at Disney, writes about a question to ask when you’re stuck on a hard decision: is this permanent? If it can be reversed, go do it.

Think about how few decisions in your life you truly have to live with forever. Very few. Once that sinks in, doubt loses a lot of its grip. You aren’t making a permanent bet. You’re running a test you can undo.

Fear is a market signal

When a big, universal challenge hits, everyone feels it, including every one of your competitors. I launched a business in the middle of a pandemic, while most people were trying to work out how to pivot what they already had.

Here’s what I believe: fear is an indicator of a market pulling back. If you’re scared, everyone else is scared. When people are scared, they hit the brakes. If you can find the courage to get past the doubt and hit the gas while everyone else brakes, you can take the lead.

Winning is a matter of will

What separates the people who made it from the people who didn’t? Usually the people who didn’t make it stopped at some point.

If you haven’t made it yet and you’re still going, you still have a chance. Your timeline may be longer than the person ahead of you, maybe by 18 months or by ten years. Often that’s a skills gap, and skills can be learned. So change the game, change the rules, get the skills, and go succeed.

Nobody having done something before isn’t a reason it can’t be done.

Practical takeaways

1. Prepare for the thing you doubt most. Pick the meeting, pitch, or decision causing you the most doubt this week and give it one hour of real preparation.
2. Answer “yes, but.” Write “Can I do this? Yes, but…” and list what it will actually cost. Doubt shrinks once it has a price tag.
3. Ask whether it’s permanent. For a decision you’re stuck on, write down how you’d reverse it. If you can, act.
4. Read fear as data. When you’re scared about the market, ask what your competitors are probably doing, and where you could press while they pull back.
5. Name the skill gap. If you’re behind someone else’s timeline, identify one skill to build next instead of quitting.

Work with LeadFast

LeadFast Co helps leaders build the preparation and systems that make doubt temporary. Learn more at leadfastco.com.

Here’s my question for you: What’s one doubt you could make temporary this week by preparing for it?

This article is based on Episode 5 of the LeadFast Podcast, “Doubting Yourself.” Listen to the full episode.